i feel totally out of sorts. dehydration and stress induced headache. i can't plan a vacation. too much, too soon. i can almost sense the summer being over before it begins! i think its a money headache too. i just would like to be able to relax and pick a vacation/adventure with a friend and not think about the cost. it seems selfish because some people can't pay their rent and don't have the luxury to dream about spending $1000 on a vacation. in the back of my head i think about all of the things i could do with that money: pay down debt, take a few classes, do a leadership thing....

vacation options:
1. Southern Utah camping hiking trip. would like at least 1-3 friends (plane ticket $350, rental car $350, gas $250)
2. Call Jinky and just do anything she is doing this summer
3. Go on a cruise to the Caribbean
4. visit exchange student friends in Europe ($750 flight: 3 weeks), stay with them and use public transportation
5. go somewhere and work casually (not with kids)

just feeling a little lost. at least this helps me get it out on "paper"

I truly and earnestly believe that God is the great Romancer and writes our stories if we let Him. If we seek Him first then we'll find a greater love & timing than we can imagine.

My one true love has been Christ but I've noticed that I tend to date men who don't love the Lord. I can't quite figure this out except for the fact that by bonding with a Christian man means I have to face and conquer things in my life that I hate about myself--sin that really holds me captive.

Saying this, I know I need time to heal. I've been assuming that dating other people would do that but it hasn't. When I was 16 I said "goodbye to dating" for one year. Funny enough, I wasn't dateable anyway (in the words of my friend Murdock). I do remember that a family friend, Maro Hionedes, wanted to honor God in her dating relationships by not pursuing a relationship for one year after a break-up of a longtime boyfriend. I remember how hard it was but how much she grew from the experience. From my viewpoint, she had a different perspective on God in respect to the role it plays in a serious committed relationship. There is a whole story involved but I realize how courageous it was for her to give that part of her life over to God.

It's been on my heart to offer God my whole heart, to spend a year healing and becoming the woman I was created for in this life. I gave up everything that makes me beautiful, for a chance at romance. The most beautiful I could ever be is when I am honoring the Lord. I've been using charm and physical beauty to attract men but in reality that has been a false and shallow show. I want something deeper and more meaningful. I only want to get married once and I'd love to build a life with another person. A friend, companion, and lover. Someone who loves God and others. We draw each other to Christ and not farther away.

Starting May 1st, I'm making this promise to God to start working in me. I'll need the strength to move forward in this journey. To be honest, im scared as hell. Facing your demons isn't for the faint of heart. I will continue to build friendships but it can't go farther than that for this year until God reveals Himself to me and/or another person. Which means i'll have to say "no" a lot - not my specialty. I do know that if this is from God, then He will be my rock.

I think I finally have figured how to spend my ridiculous amount of annual leave. If I can afford to to do it, I'm going to Southern Utah & the Grand Canyon to go hiking and camping in July-August. Now I just need to figure out how many days I have and pick the start date!

I once more often posted things here I loved or looked forward to.

File this one under the latter.

The Walkmen’s upcoming album, Heaven, is going to be awesome. How do I know? Because I said so, and because I unknowingly had dinner next to their lead singer only to later miss their show in Jacksonville and because the first single is out and glorious.

If .mp3s to degraded like vinyl, losing digital bits during replay, I’d have to repurchase Lisbon 3 times a year.

having trouble going to the Lord with my worries & anxieties. also, feeling like i'm relapsing a little bit. can't tell if its hormones, mood cycles, or something deeper. I've been pretty happy and content but recently have felt lonely..... for true intimacy. This isn't something that can be really filled by just any person. intimacy can be faked for only so long before its clear that it doesn't exist. I'm dealing with the difficulty of being intimate with God and being faithful.. I get easily seduced away from that intimacy by other insatiable things.

Today the Philly papers sold for $55 million.

In 2006 the same group was purchased by investors for $515 million and later rescued from bankruptcy in 2010 for $139 million.

For comparison’s sake, Draw Something, worth nothing six weeks ago, was just purchased for $200 million.

I don’t need to labor the point, but one of the country’s largest media organizations is worth a quarter the price of an effing Pictionary app. So for you, the powerful media executives who don’t read this blog, another lesson in the ever-shrinking value of content.

When a tech blog like TechCrunch mentions a paywall, it generally reads “XX newspaper has announced a paywall. How backward thinking. Here are five ways around it.”

So a post this afternoon makes me wonder if the internet is headed for a major change of mind. TC wrote about MediaPass, a paywall management software, and not only avoided bashing newspaper models, but even seemed to accept the idea of more and more content providers going behind the wall.

Shocking, right? Before the NYT paywall* most hated the idea and doomed it to failblog.org. But since the relative success there, and the drumbeat from other newspaper companies, it seems like the model is being accepted by publishers of all sorts, traditional or not.

There’s no denying the success of the micro-payment model, but I guess I had never considered it’s influence in the paywall debate.

*excuse me for using paywall and meter interchangeably, but you know what I mean.

It’s been a helluva few weeks around here. Bad news – lots of it – good people leaving the paper, close friends moving away. A lot of distracting stuff, frankly, and it’s taken it’s toll on me and I know Diana hasn’t been immune.

So last week’s visit by our Ukrainian journalists was a welcome relief. Kevin and I hosted the six of them and it was a wonderful reminder of how much I have grown to love Jacksonville. Nine days, 12 to 14 hours each day and we never worried what to do next. In fact, we had to nix a trip to the zoo and a tour of Everbank Field to fit all of the other awesome stuff in.

The highlights, briefly

• Chicken and waffles at Metro Diner
• Friday night with the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra
• Slow drip at Bold Bean Coffee
• Pirate ship ride in St. Augustine. ON. A. BOAT.
• A long walk down the Riverwalk at night
• A perfectly  seasoned dinner at Bistro Aix
• Sunbaked steel at the Concours d’Elegance
• Easy, bump-free driving at 65mph – an appreciable feat if you’ve ever been to or from Ukraine.

Pictures above is the chicken and waffles. You had to be there, really.

I'm heart broken by my own silence and passiveness. I literally feel myself closing up and becoming harder. the worst is that i want to talk to someone about it but i just cant. its too deep & painful.

My friend made a post on Facebook about wishing to hide people's comments about meals/food and God. It just settled weird with me. I hate feeling oppositional and often I try to be sensitive to other people's feelings and beliefs. But then when I do that, it makes me feel off. Like I can't be myself.
This morning I just thought about this: I follow a God who became man to reach out to us and give us hope for unity, peace, love, and understanding. He was murdered for his teachings and opposition to worshipping tradition, religion, and ritual. His followers were tortured and murdered for refusing to worship the Emperor [Nero]. Those who profess their love for Christ are still be executed to this day all over the world.
So all "WWJD" bracelets aside, who am I willing to be for my God? Passionate pursuit of the cross ends in death to self but brings abundant, full, purposeful life. I feel like I'm transforming from the inside out. It's been a slow process but the closer I draw to God, the easier it is to recognize things that are not of God. All I know is that life will be an adventure and not as status quo if I'm willing to let go.

I'm starting to spread myself thin again. I never know how to do it gracefully while getting important things done, like cleaning. Although some pretty amazing things happen when I get going!
I'm planning a series for girls at my school where I get 12th grade ladies from the local high school to mentor the 8th grade girls to get them ready for the transition out of middle school. I also want to put together a career fair for boys at the school. It's one of those things that I just need to schedule a date and then I can do the work around it.
also planning to do a neighborhood rally for the local elementary school to get people from my neighborhood more involved in the elementary and middle schools in the area.
so basically, i need to make a plan/to-do list and get working! all of this will definitely help me to stay focused while i'm waiting on the house....

I am convinced that the key to gaining strength is by identifying and breaking our weakness. That can only be done through discipline to break ourselves of relentless pain and rebuild ourselves to create healing. Strength is not an idea but an act that must be learned.

My weakness is lazy satisfaction. It creeps in and I constantly have to fight it. For one example, I've been messy my whole life and only cleaned my room after weeks of mess. Now, I have to fight myself and give myself a pep talk to FINISH cleaning once I start. It's becoming easier the more I do it and I can't wait until these things that seem so hard are only second nature. My BIGGEST fear in being a wife/mother is cooking every meal of the day. for several hungry bellies. I barely make the effort to cook for myself and when I do, it's for "fun!" I asked my mom how she did it. She simply replied, "When you love someone, you want to cook for them. But there were years when I barely made meals at all from exhaustion." Basically, you just take it in stride. Hopefully, with a family comes the partnership of chores so one person doesn't have to do it alone.
Anyway, the reason I'm thinking about discipline is because I really want to get in shape and run a race coming up. Its a 5k (pretty much the easiest thing ever) but the most I've ever ran is maybe one mile. I did some basic stretching and realized how important it was. I haven't felt some of those muscles in months. How could I ever begin to run/exercise without knowing my body and preparing each one for the task to come? Whenever I exercise out of the blue (50 sit-ups and 20 pushups) I rarely stretch. It makes sense why my workouts are few and far between. I start with the end in mind (i.e. "when will this end?"). Instead I should start with the intention to break my body.

Ecclesiastes 9:10

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might....

There are a lot of people who make this process their religion. They are intense about the acts of discipline to build this strength. But these acts are primarily mental and physical. It does nothing to address the matters of the heart or soul. Discipline is not the primary but the secondary. It's a response to faith, not faith itself. We fix our eyes heavenward to continue the path of perseverance because we are created physical, emotional, spiritual beings.

Hebrews 12:1-3

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

We all suffer from some kind of weakness we must break whether its laziness, apathy, discontent, mopiness, bad relationships, addictions, giving up, greed, selfishness, gossip, etc. aka what religious folk call "sin." Answering the call to awakening is the faith part. Discipline is the adventure. All are called but few will answer.
Romans 1:19-2119 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

I am convinced that the key to gaining strength is by identifying and breaking our weakness. That can only be done through discipline to break ourselves of relentless pain and rebuild ourselves to create healing. Strength is not an idea but an act that must be learned.

My weakness is lazy satisfaction. It creeps in and I constantly have to fight it. For one example, I've been messy my whole life and only cleaned my room after weeks of mess. Now, I have to fight myself and give myself a pep talk to FINISH cleaning once I start. It's becoming easier the more I do it and I can't wait until these things that seem so hard are only second nature. My BIGGEST fear in being a wife/mother is cooking every meal of the day. for several hungry bellies. I barely make the effort to cook for myself and when I do, it's for "fun!" I asked my mom how she did it. She simply replied, "When you love someone, you want to cook for them. But there were years when I barely made meals at all from exhaustion." Basically, you just take it in stride. Hopefully, with a family comes the partnership of chores so one person doesn't have to do it alone.
Anyway, the reason I'm thinking about discipline is because I really want to get in shape and run a race coming up. Its a 5k (pretty much the easiest thing ever) but the most I've ever ran is maybe one mile. I did some basic stretching and realized how important it was. I haven't felt some of those muscles in months. How could I ever begin to run/exercise without knowing my body and preparing each one for the task to come? Whenever I exercise out of the blue (50 sit-ups and 20 pushups) I rarely stretch. It makes sense why my workouts are few and far between. I start with the end in mind (i.e. "when will this end?"). Instead I should start with the intention to break my body.

Ecclesiastes 9:10

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might....

There are a lot of people who make this process their religion. They are intense about the acts of discipline to build this strength. But these acts are primarily mental and physical. It does nothing to address the matters of the heart or soul. Discipline is not the primary but the secondary. It's a response to faith, not faith itself. We fix our eyes heavenward to continue the path of perseverance because we are created physical, emotional, spiritual beings.

Hebrews 12:1-3

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

We all suffer from some kind of weakness we must break whether its laziness, apathy, discontent, mopiness, bad relationships, addictions, giving up, greed, selfishness, gossip, etc. aka what religious folk call "sin." Answering the call to awakening is the faith part. Discipline is the adventure. All are called but few will answer.
Romans 1:19-2119 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Elias and I were talking about how people let things destruct our lives. People suffer everyday but don't have a choice to let it be a road block. They must eat, they must continue to work. Now, a divorce can ruin a child's whole life perspective. Women throw themselves onto any man but fear love and commitment. Men fear love and commitment. How lucky are we that in our country, marriage is an act of love.......not out of duty or financial responsibility!! I think it's funny that people think they know everything about how to make a good marriage. "You have to live with someone before you are married" is the number one thing I hear. Okay, that sounds reasonable until it gets further explained. "Well, you get to know what they are really like. Like if they are messy or leave toothpaste on the sink...."
Hold the phone. SO you are telling me you would call it quits over dirty socks and hair in the sink? That sounds skewed. Then, essentially, a couple divorces. Not legally but emotionally over spilt milk. To me, that was never love. One thing I know is that you can find out how messy, romantic, thoughtful, and considerate someone is from dating. People always change but here are some ways to really know who you are falling in love with: go on group dates, volunteer together, go on a car trip, go camping, go to church together, cook dinner together, do laundry together....these things try a lot of different areas of a person's character. After you go through these things together you can assess if you have the same values and want to pursue that person for marriage. You don't test a relationship by having sex and watching the same tv shows or listening to the same music. That doesn't qualify anyone for the "next step" of living together.
I don't believe that everything works out beautifully in the end. While in the previous post I commented on how great life is and I have hope....this is my clause. We can screw up our own lives continuously. Our lives are determined by our choices. I have hope because I have a standard of living (which i sometimes mess up) but I know that the more I pursue goodness and put my trust in God then life will be an adventure.
I hate to bring Whitney Houston into this but I am. She could have had an incredible wonderful life. She chose drug abuse. I believe she ended her life because she was fighting a war from within her soul. She tried to escape with drugs but being a Christian (I do believe she is a Christian) she had to have been trying to fight the addiction. Addiction is a terrible sickness that eats people from within. That is the hardest sickness to battle. But, there aren't any walks or fundraisers to help people fight the battle of addiction. Why not? It starts with a choice. It ends with a choice. We cheer those who choose life. We mourn those who choose death.

Elias and I were talking about how people let things destruct our lives. People suffer everyday but don't have a choice to let it be a road block. They must eat, they must continue to work. Now, a divorce can ruin a child's whole life perspective. Women throw themselves onto any man but fear love and commitment. Men fear love and commitment. How lucky are we that in our country, marriage is an act of love.......not out of duty or financial responsibility!! I think it's funny that people think they know everything about how to make a good marriage. "You have to live with someone before you are married" is the number one thing I hear. Okay, that sounds reasonable until it gets further explained. "Well, you get to know what they are really like. Like if they are messy or leave toothpaste on the sink...."
Hold the phone. SO you are telling me you would call it quits over dirty socks and hair in the sink? That sounds skewed. Then, essentially, a couple divorces. Not legally but emotionally over spilt milk. To me, that was never love. One thing I know is that you can find out how messy, romantic, thoughtful, and considerate someone is from dating. People always change but here are some ways to really know who you are falling in love with: go on group dates, volunteer together, go on a car trip, go camping, go to church together, cook dinner together, do laundry together....these things try a lot of different areas of a person's character. After you go through these things together you can assess if you have the same values and want to pursue that person for marriage. You don't test a relationship by having sex and watching the same tv shows or listening to the same music. That doesn't qualify anyone for the "next step" of living together.
I don't believe that everything works out beautifully in the end. While in the previous post I commented on how great life is and I have hope....this is my clause. We can screw up our own lives continuously. Our lives are determined by our choices. I have hope because I have a standard of living (which i sometimes mess up) but I know that the more I pursue goodness and put my trust in God then life will be an adventure.
I hate to bring Whitney Houston into this but I am. She could have had an incredible wonderful life. She chose drug abuse. I believe she ended her life because she was fighting a war from within her soul. She tried to escape with drugs but being a Christian (I do believe she is a Christian) she had to have been trying to fight the addiction. Addiction is a terrible sickness that eats people from within. That is the hardest sickness to battle. But, there aren't any walks or fundraisers to help people fight the battle of addiction. Why not? It starts with a choice. It ends with a choice. We cheer those who choose life. We mourn those who choose death.

Life for me has been so good. Even at the worst moments, I know I'll be fine. It's been a long time since I've felt hopeless. Some days I wish I could change some things about myself and my circumstances. I'm not denying that. But right now, I'm sitting at a coffee shop on my computer starting to plan a vacation. I was having a moment where I was wishing I could get up and move to SoCal then I thought, "You would be doing the same exact thing there." I am a person who dreams of running from problems but I never do. I've always stuck it out. That gives me hope that I can face anything.
Life is going to hard if it's going to be any good. The toil of the land brings bountiful harvest. But we can't forget that even when we toil, nature can bring disaster which leaves us waiting another season for more toil until the harvest. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon teaches us not to put our hope in this life, like things are new or even meaningful....(Ecclesiastes Chapter 1:8-11).

8 All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
9 What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
11 No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them.

So, I feel like I can get through anything.

Life for me has been so good. Even at the worst moments, I know I'll be fine. It's been a long time since I've felt hopeless. Some days I wish I could change some things about myself and my circumstances. I'm not denying that. But right now, I'm sitting at a coffee shop on my computer starting to plan a vacation. I was having a moment where I was wishing I could get up and move to SoCal then I thought, "You would be doing the same exact thing there." I am a person who dreams of running from problems but I never do. I've always stuck it out. That gives me hope that I can face anything.
Life is going to hard if it's going to be any good. The toil of the land brings bountiful harvest. But we can't forget that even when we toil, nature can bring disaster which leaves us waiting another season for more toil until the harvest. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon teaches us not to put our hope in this life, like things are new or even meaningful....(Ecclesiastes Chapter 1:8-11).

8 All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
9 What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
11 No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them.

So, I feel like I can get through anything.

Y'all, it's not you.
(Sean Luca reflecting my sentiments.)
It's me.
I've sadly come to the point where something has to give.
And for the sake of my waning sanity, the people I may not see for a long time after the next few months because of graduation, the people I may not see because I haven't made time for them, and the general status of life... Breakfast at Target is saying farewell.
Indefinitely?I have yet to say.
I have NEVER been as busy as I have been this semester. Quite literally, my days are scheduled from 5:00AM - 10:00PM... and it's taking its toll. Even last semester, it was a heavy workload and I was super busy -- but this time, I'm running towards the next big step in life, and the pressure is mounting beyond what I can handle. Here's what I'm up against:
1.) A Capstone/Thesis Project that entails creating a report and plan for our Group-X team. It involves three major components of expanding our Group Exercise programming at the University, including special event development, bench-marking research with other peer institutions, increasing online and social media PR and presence, leadership and professional development among our instructors, research on student wellness, and tying it all back into the discipline of public administration.
2.) An independent study that involves co-instructing a service-learning course in which I'm responsible for student management and support, curriculum development, planning lectures and discussion, and grading/organizing student work. OH, and that's just the first part. The second is developing a paper in which I'm conducting interviews with students, program/site sponsors, and university administration personnel in areas of integrative and service learning; doing case study and benchmark research on similar programs; and projecting the forecast of service-learning at our institution by collecting data and researching current trends and historical development. My professor and I are lined up to present at three conferences on our paper.
3.) A course in higher education and student affairs researching trends in higher education, which entails a literature/book review; an issue brief where I have to breakdown a report on a topic related to higher education (and no, I can use either of the topics mentioned above); a report on a specific state the trends in higher education there (I chose Wisconsin); and posting/replying to articles posted by the professor and fellow peers... as Friday, I had over 200 articles/comments I had yet to get through (as of now, I'm at about 100). 
4.) A presentation at a fitness conference next weekend at Virginia Tech - I've been working on it since last semester and I'm nervous I'm going to BLOW it. I'm bringing lots of candy for my participants just in case.
5.) Similarly: Planning and teaching 3 fitness classes a week, though I've subbed a good bit and have taught up to 5 classes on certain weeks.
6.) Several photo sessions I STILL have yet to get to because I can't find the hours to squeeze them in... I found myself staying up til midnight trying to get them edited and organized, only to realize I had to be up at 5:00AM... I had to start over several times because I should NEVER edit under the influence of late-evening coffee and mounting exhaustion.
7.) Working 20-30hr weeks for my boss doing community development and grant-writing work.
8.) Job hunting. My resume is a disaster.
Needless to say, I'm burnt and nowhere near the end. I've already scaled back on several things (eating and sleeping were the first to go), but I still can't find enough time or energy to get it done. I had a conversation with a friend recently who graduated last spring - like me, she was a high-energy person and hating saying "no" when she thought she could be of help. But in end, she got extremely sick after graduation -- to the point she was hospitalized. I'm on that road if I don't do something... and do it quickly.
After much deliberation, I've decided my dear, sweet, wonderful blog is something that needs to carefully wrapped up and put on the shelf for a while. Just knowing it’s one less thing I need to worry about eased some of the torment that is my To Do list.
Sadly… this may also mean I’ll be taking a step back from reading the blogs I have so long come to look forward to… at least, as involved as I may have been prior. It’s hard to read through some of the blogs and really enjoy them when I know I should be reading the crap-ton of other pieces mounting in my roster. I will checking as I can. I promise.
I feel like it’s really hard to explain to people how tired, busy, and broke I am lately. I promise I’m not being dramatic. It’s just hard to put down everything to catch a beer when I know my mind will be racing chaotically the whole time and wondering how I can afford – financially and emotionally – the time away from what I should be doing.
It sucks.
But I’m so close. 76 days to graduation.There is light at the end of the tunnel.It’s bleak and pathetic and dim, but it’s there.
If I can survive this, you bet I’ll be back – and it will be a GRAND return.
Thank you for your patience. Your empathy. Your hugs and tequila shots.
I love you all.
So long and fare thee well,Celia

**That said, you can still find me on Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter. Ten minute social media interludes are quite the brain-break between craziness...

Y'all, it's not you.
(Sean Luca reflecting my sentiments.)
It's me.
I've sadly come to the point where something has to give.
And for the sake of my waning sanity, the people I may not see for a long time after the next few months because of graduation, the people I may not see because I haven't made time for them, and the general status of life... Breakfast at Target is saying farewell.
Indefinitely?I have yet to say.
I have NEVER been as busy as I have been this semester. Quite literally, my days are scheduled from 5:00AM - 10:00PM... and it's taking its toll. Even last semester, it was a heavy workload and I was super busy -- but this time, I'm running towards the next big step in life, and the pressure is mounting beyond what I can handle. Here's what I'm up against:
1.) A Capstone/Thesis Project that entails creating a report and plan for our Group-X team. It involves three major components of expanding our Group Exercise programming at the University, including special event development, bench-marking research with other peer institutions, increasing online and social media PR and presence, leadership and professional development among our instructors, research on student wellness, and tying it all back into the discipline of public administration.
2.) An independent study that involves co-instructing a service-learning course in which I'm responsible for student management and support, curriculum development, planning lectures and discussion, and grading/organizing student work. OH, and that's just the first part. The second is developing a paper in which I'm conducting interviews with students, program/site sponsors, and university administration personnel in areas of integrative and service learning; doing case study and benchmark research on similar programs; and projecting the forecast of service-learning at our institution by collecting data and researching current trends and historical development. My professor and I are lined up to present at three conferences on our paper.
3.) A course in higher education and student affairs researching trends in higher education, which entails a literature/book review; an issue brief where I have to breakdown a report on a topic related to higher education (and no, I can use either of the topics mentioned above); a report on a specific state the trends in higher education there (I chose Wisconsin); and posting/replying to articles posted by the professor and fellow peers... as Friday, I had over 200 articles/comments I had yet to get through (as of now, I'm at about 100). 
4.) A presentation at a fitness conference next weekend at Virginia Tech - I've been working on it since last semester and I'm nervous I'm going to BLOW it. I'm bringing lots of candy for my participants just in case.
5.) Similarly: Planning and teaching 3 fitness classes a week, though I've subbed a good bit and have taught up to 5 classes on certain weeks.
6.) Several photo sessions I STILL have yet to get to because I can't find the hours to squeeze them in... I found myself staying up til midnight trying to get them edited and organized, only to realize I had to be up at 5:00AM... I had to start over several times because I should NEVER edit under the influence of late-evening coffee and mounting exhaustion.
7.) Working 20-30hr weeks for my boss doing community development and grant-writing work.
8.) Job hunting. My resume is a disaster.
Needless to say, I'm burnt and nowhere near the end. I've already scaled back on several things (eating and sleeping were the first to go), but I still can't find enough time or energy to get it done. I had a conversation with a friend recently who graduated last spring - like me, she was a high-energy person and hating saying "no" when she thought she could be of help. But in end, she got extremely sick after graduation -- to the point she was hospitalized. I'm on that road if I don't do something... and do it quickly.
After much deliberation, I've decided my dear, sweet, wonderful blog is something that needs to carefully wrapped up and put on the shelf for a while. Just knowing it’s one less thing I need to worry about eased some of the torment that is my To Do list.
Sadly… this may also mean I’ll be taking a step back from reading the blogs I have so long come to look forward to… at least, as involved as I may have been prior. It’s hard to read through some of the blogs and really enjoy them when I know I should be reading the crap-ton of other pieces mounting in my roster. I will checking as I can. I promise.
I feel like it’s really hard to explain to people how tired, busy, and broke I am lately. I promise I’m not being dramatic. It’s just hard to put down everything to catch a beer when I know my mind will be racing chaotically the whole time and wondering how I can afford – financially and emotionally – the time away from what I should be doing.
It sucks.
But I’m so close. 76 days to graduation.There is light at the end of the tunnel.It’s bleak and pathetic and dim, but it’s there.
If I can survive this, you bet I’ll be back – and it will be a GRAND return.
Thank you for your patience. Your empathy. Your hugs and tequila shots.
I love you all.
So long and fare thee well,Celia

**That said, you can still find me on Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter. Ten minute social media interludes are quite the brain-break between craziness...